Okay, so I realize any person reading this may not agree, nor am I trying to imply that any of these acts are actually bad or undesirable. People are absolutely entitled to like whatever they want, and I wouldn't actually care. Please do what you love! I am just saying for my own personal opinion or what I want and what I often feel is conflicting in my quest to discovering and owning my sexuality.
1. All women are inherently bisexual:
No, no and no. I don't like women. This is weird because I watch lesbian porn, but honestly, its not the women that makes it watchable, its the acts themselves. And its really hard to come across a quality video of a guy jerking off a girl without penetrating her. So I have to watch girls do it. Frustrating really, it sometimes feels invalidating that my relatively mainstream interests in petting and fondling must be relegated to a sexuality I don't actually feel because the rest of society deems it not exciting enough.
It doesn't matter to me that bisexual, bicurious, and lesbian people exist out there. Good, great. I'm glad. Sex is wonderful. But for some reason, the entirety of the male population seems to think that we all want to just make out with one another whenever we get two drinks in us. And its simply not true. Girls don't light my fire. Guys do. I'm heterosexual. Boobs and butts are great, but to me its nothing compared to a nice male body. Some hard kissing and face stubble. I'm not going to titillate you by making out with my friend. If I ever have a threesome, its gonna be two guys. Because I like guys. And I guess that's that so why do so many men find that hard to understand?
2. All women secretly just want a man to control them.
Again, there are many people who do enjoy being submissive. But usually this is under a specific context, that they discuss and arrange with their partners. Which again, is fine and not a problem. But there is a pervasive belief that we ALL want to just be sexily servile all the time. We just need a man to put us in line, to mark his territory, to domineer over us. My boss actually tried to tell me this. He tried to convince me that my previous taste in men was actually not true, and that I was covering up my latent desire to have a man control me. Needless to say I was pretty pissed.
If say, I suddenly desired for a man to slap my ass and tell me I'm a dirty slut, my boss would still be wrong about me. Why? Because there's nothing 'degrading' about asking someone to do something hot to you. I mean who cares what you are actually asking for, the point is you are actively asking for it and therefore not being controlled by anyone. If a man suddenly started slapping my ass and calling me a dirty slut I would feel highly uncomfortable. I wouldn't suddenly realize my deep hidden desire to be spanked, I would feel frightened and pissed off having my boundaries violated. That is not hot. For me, the thought of control is hot. However, I'm still rather timid in my encounters.
3. All women desire a tall, ripped guy with a huge dick.
Again I encountered this at my work place. I'm a short person, and I tend to gravitate towards short guys. For some reason this is a problem to other people. If I said I liked only tall guys, no one would bat an eye. (That said, I never said I only liked short guys, I just tend towards them) There are many types of people in this world, and many of them are attractive. Not because they are x, y and Z, but because they are who they are.
On the subject of huge dicks. To me, dicks are as attractive as the person attached to them. When I had feelings for an asian guy, plenty of snide dick related remarks were made. Its outrageous really, for some reason people actually thought about why I would possibly like someone whose race is stereotyped as having small dicks! The nerve! After all, why the hell would I want such a subpar specimen? Shouldn't I, despite having vaginismus, want an enormous 10 inch dick uncomfortably crammed into my already difficult vagina? If for some reason, I find myself losing my virginity to a guy with a coke can cock, it would be because I liked that person so damn much, that I actually wanted to uncomfortably cram it in. Conversely, if I find myself losing it to a guy with a four inch wang, it would be because-wow I actually like that person, and I actually don't give a shit about something as ridiculous as dick size. Particularly when there's so much else to like about a person.
4. All women just love giving blowjobs, in fact they have like totally awesome orgasms from it cause its so awesome. No need to reciprocate the favor.
I like giving a bj just as much as the next enthusiastic partner. I really like to see a person enjoying themselves. It feels good to hear someone moan and writhe. Its hot and enjoyable. But it doesn't actually feel like anything to me. Like on my body. You aren't like massaging my mouth or anything. Bjs are hard work! They make your gums hurt when you forget to floss, sometimes you jab yourself in the throat too hard and gag. Jizz tastes funny. Sometimes it gives me stomach cramps. But that's not why you give: you give because you want someone else to feel.
A horny girl may be happy to blow you. Which is totally fine, live it up good sir. But don't think that it actually stimulates anything besides the imagination. You should offer a reward to that person. You should make it worthwhile! Of course, some people don't actually want any reciprocation, which is also fine. But don't convince yourself into thinking this is some sort of reciprocal sexual acts. It is purely one sided.
5. All women shave their vulvas, and if they don't, they are totally willing too because it is totally not a pain in the ass.
I realize many people shave their pubic regions. Thanks to mainstream porn, this is a commonality now. Some people don't even know that women have hair down there (Seriously, I just recently talked to a guy who didn't know girls had hair in their ass cracks.) To some people, shaving is really easy and not very irritating on the skin. To other people, they might as well just pour tabasco down there because its just so irritating and horrible. I've tried this before, and each time, the skin on my very important area has become horribly inflamed and prickly and horrible.
I trim, but I will not shave. I am entitled to keep the products my body was made to have. People grow pubes when they hit puberty. Pubes are long and curly, sometimes they feel itchy. Sometimes they get caught in people's teeth. But honestly, that is not the end of the world. Its just pubes. And expecting your partner to shave down there every day just so that you don't have to think about nasty pubes is a ridiculous request (And yes, some of us have hair that grows back every day). It's one thing to have a preference, its another to have an unwavering expectation. (As an aside, I'm not even sure how to shave an ass crack?! I must be missing something.)
6. Women who blow lots of dudes are sluts. Men who go down on women are ladies men.
This is just a huge crock of shit and I don't have to explain why. A mouth on a dick is a mouth on a dick. I know a very lovely person whom I never fight with and usually always agree with, but for some reason he can't shake this belief. I get ridiculously pissed off.
Good to know I'm losing value every time I try to please a dude. Because I mean really, when you are unable to have sex, how many other acts can you perform? I'm going out on a limb and guessing that many handjobs will also make me slutty. And having lots anal will probably make me even 'worse' so really I'm just supposed to swallow (no pun intended) my label and not give a shit what people think? I mean really, how the fuck do I win here? I'm supposed to explore my sexuality and gain experience before I settle down, and yet anything I do will be perceived as my value diminishing! And I guess once I'm 'cured' I'm supposed to have just a ton of sex with a bunch of people so I can learn about sex. Because if I went on some dates I would owe those guys sex! I mean they worked so hard to be nice guys. Or I could just blow them, which hey still makes me slutty! But hey, it doesn't even like count anyways, cause that's just foreplay, I'm not actually gaining experience (Like this is a game or something). That's nothing more than an unfinished hookup. Again, I wouldn't pass judgement on a girl for sucking a lot of dicks, just like I wouldn't pass judgement on a guy who gave a lot of girls head (In fact, I would totally consider that a plus!). But some other people aren't as open minded.
It's like, I never can win. No matter what. People keep trying to box me into their view of sexuality. And it drives me crazy. It really does.
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