But what about when there is no memories? What happens to ourselves when we start to lose our memories? What becomes of our lives and who are we really? How do you maintain an identity when you're rapidly losing the building blocks of your life history? How do you preserve yourself?
I don't know, and I don't have any answers yet. I was reading the transcript of an interview with people suffering from Alzheimer's and it filled my head with so many questions. I don't know yet, I wish there was more information in the interview. It's still really hard to read stuff involving memory loss and slow descent dementia type things. It still feels very fresh. If I had tears, I would be crying them. But the well is still stubbornly dry.
I don't know when exactly I Maxed Out. But I have. I'm emotionally at my maximum capacity. I don't want to make any investments and yet I lament feelings isolated from everyone. I feel stagnant in an unchanging world. I want to help people and I want them to do things for me.
I want people to do things for me.
Maybe it sounds selfish. But I want a homemade dinner or a gift. Anything. I feel alone and I know I'm to blame.
