You don't get to say how I feel.
Because you don't have that kind of control over me, you lost that. And now for some reason you think you can pop back in my life to nitpick again. What are you trying to accomplish here really? Why must you repeatedly make assumptions about me and my life?
You have put me in this box, and this box is labeled WRONG. Everything I do always fits in this box. Because it needs to be this way for you. Because if I'm out of this box its challenging you somehow, its getting in the way of your perceptions. It's scaring you. And you don't like to be scared. You want to be tough and right and made of stone. So you must put others down, especially the ones who seem weaker than you. Those who seem complacent and full of love and trust. They lay it all out for you, but you aren't listening. Because you are busy packing their words into the box.
Well, I have news for you. I LIKE the way I am. The regular me. The chemically right me, and the chemically wrong me at times. I like being pessimistic, self denigrating, depraved, cynical. I see the world exactly the way I need to see it. I like that even though I seem set in my ways, I can always take a step back and look at the big picture. I like that I'm easy for most people to talk to, honest and open, not taking myself too seriously, able to laugh at shitty things that happen to me, introspective.
I have many faults, but these are mine and my own to fix as I see fit. And I'm constantly growing and maturing and learning and being in so many ways that you'll just never understand because you are busy just filling your cardboard box of assumptions.
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