I spent the night drinking with a man who is a bit older than me. I caught his interest not too long ago, and I'd been feeling him out ever since. He's quite odd, interesting sense of humor, attractive, well dressed, nice. The people I've asked about him says he's a nice guy but weird. I'm not entirely sure what to think of it. I'm not sure if I'm in a good place right now to be in a relationship. There's my friends with benefits thing to deal with. And then there's the fact that my parents would probably kick my ass if they found out I was dating a guy that old.
But Indeed, I had a fun time stumbling back drunk with him at four in the morning. Less fun when I woke up drunk the next morning for work. But hey, what a life I live. I'm just glad I got home safe. I think we kissed, but I could hardly tell what I was doing at that hour. I'm feeling a little insecure about my intimacy abilities. I wonder.
Hey, I really liked this post. When I read your writing I imagine you are a conservative, sort of formal person and I didn't really expect you to be stumbling home with an older man at four in the morning. I guess it is only because you use words like 'indeed' and "I wonder" which make things sound supremely awesome.
ReplyDeletePeople always assume I'm 'innocent' too and they are surprised when they find out I'm not. (I think it's a silly concept but anyways!) It seems like people might make the same assumption about you since you look young (so do I) and yeah... I don't know where I'm going with this but I liked this post and I think you're awesome for being so adventurous. I hope you had a good night.
Thanks so much for the encouraging comment! Spot on about the assumptions part too. People definitely tend to assume a lot due to me being young and meek looking. It's funny though, I don't know if you ever feel like this, but sometimes I feel like I should be overcompensating in a way, Like having some 'super sexy street cred' or something just to prove people wrong. I guess that's a dangerous game to play, but we all want to look badass from time to time. Only human.
DeleteYeah I've done that too. Do you know that Usher song where it goes "Lady in the street, freak between the sheets"? or something like that. I'm not sure if that song is the origin of the phrase, but for a long time I tried to be like that. It's sort of how I am naturally, but men really like it so I played it up before I realized I should just be myself and not worry about trying to impress them. So I can empathize, I think it is only natural to do that. You seem pretty badass anyways, without trying!
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