Dilator Number One!

Got dilator two in all the way for the second time. So it was not a fluke! Dare I try number two for next week's exercise?

I was having some difficulties sleeping lately, feeling very nervous which I didn't like. It's amazing how much a good night's sleep can have on your body's chemistry. I wonder if have the severity of my depression wasn't just sadness about not sleeping. My skin used to be so bad, I had constant diarrhea, stomach pains, couldn't focus, and at one point the muscle that held up my eyelid actually stopped working so my one eye constantly looked droopy. Those were just some horrible times. And it amazes me how few people seemed to acknowledge it. I was just so fricken hard on myself all the time. Sometimes it took all the energy I had left just to hate myself. I just hated myself around the house basically, denying myself food, sleep, showers or video games. I did things that I found intentionally uncomfortable. I was a prisoner to my horrible and sadistic self.

Amazing really, how powerful the brain can be, truly amazing. Progress onwards.