Sunday, February 2, 2014

Progress Log: Mechanics of Sex

So back on the sex horse, tried yesterday and then today. Yesterday was the same old issues so then I gave up. But today I was determined to be a normal sexual being again, so I tried again. Very patiently. I was a little scared since it had been awhile since I really tried to insert something all the way in. My goal to make dilator three a non-issue hasn't been all too successful. So I tried really hard this time. I was clenching up so hard at first, so I pulled way back and let my body relax. Then I started to insert it and I really hated the feeling. It was uncomfortable and I didn't like feeling my muscle twitch around the dilator. But it had started to slide all the way in so I was determined to make this work, to push myself farther. I told myself to try and last for ten minutes, which seemed unbearable at the time. But after listening to a whole song my body started to accept it. I decided to try and open and close my legs, then I lifted one leg and then the other. I pulled my knees to my chest and it didn't cause any issues. I moved my hips in the babiest of motions.

This was the first time I'd ever changed positions with an object in my vagina before! So cool milestone. Left me feeling renewed and hopeful that I could do this.

Fuck, I can do this!

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