After going very far back in the progress. I'm back to the number 4 dilator sort of. But I have no one to practice on. Everybody is annoying me. So deceptive and dismissive of my feelings.
I had a really difficult holiday break. Having spent every holiday of my life hanging out with my grandfather. The silence is deafening. And here I am alone again. Wondering if I'm going crazy or just feeling the normal range of feelings any person would under these circumstances.
I would just like a support partner right now. Nothing crazy. Maybe even like a casual sex partner. Somebody who was really kind and sweet but just got beaten down in life so badly that they can't feel anymore. And they just want to share a few quick breaths and a groan so that they can feel human again.
I wish I could feel human again.
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