I want to let go. I want to let it all go. I want to be relaxed and free and doing the dirtiest of things. I want to peel off all my sexual woes and personal trauma and bask in the nudity of my thoughts. To be soft and cuddly, yet slick and sweaty.
I am ready
I am ready
I am ready to be done. I'm ready to push the limits and enter the unknown. I want to have sex. I want to be an active participant in my own encounters. To not be afraid or shaking or stiff. To say dirty words. No more dilator sessions, just real life field experience. No more guilt, anger or resentment.
We are so close!
Working the number four dilator. And number five is huge and I probably don't need to actually fit it in in order to have sex. Maybe I'll try it for fun, but really if I can do the four I'll be golden. I got maybe 3.5/4 inches in the last few times. Not bad.
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