Sunday, April 24, 2011

Banana Yoshimoto's work is not flowery bullshit just because its marketed to woman

See above, this piece was profoundly moving to me, even if it was dramatic in some way. It made me see a lot in the way of coping. I realized why day after day, you used to carry that on your shoulder. We all laughed and called you strange, we said you were just antisocial. But just like the sailor's uniform, it represented something to you. A token you carried around your neck, a silent symbol to indicate you hadn't forgotten, the pain it may have caused, was nothing compared to the scope of what you were enduring. These tokens, these unexplainable amulets we often tote around are just a way of saying we are mourning, trying to stay afloat.

I don't know if that's the case, but if so, it's extremely profound, and it won't be forgotten. I'm sorry

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Loss

I will never forget the pain of loss, the feeling of wanting what once was, the desire to erase reality and say "I never knew that person." That bizarre feeling of impermanence, the uncertainty of what will happen next. The confusion, the guilt "I should have done this, I should have done that," the shame, "Why can't I get over this?" "Am I doing something wrong? Did I overreact?" the anger, "Why did this happen? Why doesn't everyone else feel my pain?" Is it okay to dwell, is it okay to cry and feel pain? How long is too long to bear such a burden?

I think that the worst part of all is the horrible reality that everyone has the same fate, we all have to leave this world, we all have to feel the pain of losing others. You can never escape.

Now and forever shall be a world with an end.